Than to have never loved at all. 

Fuck. That. Shit…

 And, I mean, that’s super stupid. I don’t think those two things really have anything to do with each other. You know what’s better? The best actually? to love and WIN (Not that I would know). The more accurate statement would be: “In love you either win or you learn.” Because that is actually the truth. I haven’t done much winning thus far in life but, whoa bro, I’ve done a fuckload of learning. (I’m also fairly sure I’m not even close to being done with the learning.) So….  that’s kind of why I wanna get my blog on. I don’t think I’m a love-genius (or any kind of genius) but I do know some things and I’ve become a real expert at putting a hilarious/ridiculous twist on life events that have actually been fairly painful. One life motto I try to go by religiously is: Take the pain and find a way to make it hilarious before it kills you/eats you/makes you it’s bald-headed bitch (Or something to that extent) 

My failed love life is not the only thing I want to write about. Other things you can expect to see prominently featured are: my cats, my clothes (I’m so down with granny swagger), pop culture and social commentaries, anecdotes of my socially awful or hypochondriacal behaviours and other insights or rants (I’m such a good rant-er).

 I have no secrets, I think I was put on earth to  be a sharer. I will always, always be honest up to the minute with my human expirience because more than anything I have a burning need to constantly speak my truth (it’s super obnoxious.) (Also,My truth and the general-truth are SO not the same. Just to warn you.) I hope it’s usually funny but sometimes it might be sad or extreme and sometimes it might make you cringe and I’m not really sorry about that because this is me figuring it all out and that’s not always going to be graceful or cute. 

Feedback is so important to me, aside from my burning need to self-express, I have an equally as large burning need for attention (see? Not cute but for sure true). If you read or see anything here and have any thoughts or opinions, please comment (If it HAS to be a mean comment I WILL mail you cat poop.). As much as I want you all to know me, I really want to know who you are. It’s kind of nerve wracking putting yourself out there so let’s just take this A.Step.At.A.Time.

Things you should certainly not expect to find here: subtle behaviour, bigotry, proper grammatical structure, impeccable spelling  or swear-free grammar game (ain’t got time & love some F bombs). Also, though I am not always a super accurate reteller of stories, I will NEVER EVAR put a spin on something with the intention of making myself look cooler, more stable or generally better than I actually was. I got rid of my pride a long time ago so as to make room for more cats….. I think that’s all.

Oh! One last thing. I’m sorry Granny. I know you will find your way on here and I know there will be some content that is alarming to you. I’m fine, really. I swear. I just have a mild case of humanity. 

Shit’s about to get awkward. And ya can’t spell awkwabred without “Bre” (The B and E are obv. silent. It’s Portugese. Shhhhh.)